This article is rated PG-13, meaning it contains content that may be inappropriate for readers under the age of 13.
Leo Redlodge is the best superspy in the U.S. Now if only he could get a date. Worse yet, an encounter with a drug dealer stirs up disturbing secrets from his past and forces him to face his greatest enemy. Himself, a thousand times.
"Hobbes" is relaxing in his apartment when someone starts banging on his door. He opens it up to find a disheveled Leo Redlodge who says "Their coming" in a frantic voice. Suddenly an explosion occurs the two jump out the window and onto a nearby building's roof. "Hobbes" abandons Redlodge though, when he finds out that they are running from the two women Redlodge was supposed to date on the same night.
Theme Plays with not as much flourish
We see Redlodge wake up in his apartment. He then heads into "the office" and asks B for a mission. B says the world is perfectly normal and not grim and that you can tell by the fact that CNN cancelled the days show. Redlodge then sighs and decides to see if he can get another date.
He calls Kalyn Hammer but she is busy that night. He calls Kate Sionis, but she is not answering her phone. He calls his friend James Bond and asks him if Bond can organize a date between Redlodge and one of Bond's many old girlfriends, but Bond is on a mission. He then asks Hunter if he wants to go get drunk at the bar together but Hunter has a date. He asks Grease Monkey if he wants to but Grease Monkey reminds him that he can't drink alchohol. He calls "Hobbes" and asks him but he still isn't speaking to Redlodge. He even asks B but B obviously refuses.
He then calls and gets turned down by his brother, all his neighbors, his landlady, His insurance agent, his lawyer, his plumber, his plumber's sister, his lawyer, his high school friends, his lawyer, his college friends, his lawyer, a random guy on the street named Earl, a guy in prison, and any of his lawyers not mentioned. Redlodge then decides to asks the police if they have any crimes to report but they tell him today is the perfect day. He then goes to just get drunk at a bar by himself. But once he is just about to collapse and pay he realizes his wallet was stolen and is thrown out of the bar. He then gets mugged (his asking the mugger if he wanted to watch a guys movie together didn't protect him). And after he wakes up in the morning he finds out he is locked out of his apartment building in the pouring rain. A bird poops on his head and then he collapses on the pavement.
Redlodge wakes up in "the office's" hospital where he finds out that he has been unconscious for a week and while he was unconscious, he burned down an entire city block. His Doctor then reveals that after he was mugged he was given certain drugs. Redlodge then decides to find the man who attacked him by checking the police files for his face.
|“||Who's Chasing us? An Assassin? The Mafia? WHO?||„|
|“||My Two Dates for the Night||„|
|~ Leo Redlodge|
|“||What the -------||„|
|“|| Redlodge is beaten up bad. |
Hey Redlodge! was it the pretty blonde one or the ugly hag.
|“||(Quickly) Both, she's not that ugly, and shut up.||„|